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May 19, 2009

Thoght-Basket 1

I've been thinking a lot about my own personal philosophy, or even if I have one.

And the answer that shoots to mind is: no. I am my philosophy.

I don't have very explicit feelings or thoughts about how I go about my days. I just do.

And in retrospect, that causes a lot of nearsighted-ness.

But can one really have a philosophy? Does that even solve things? Can things even be solved?

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One may never reach perfection, but to strive for it is to continually improve... so why not?

Things make a lot more sense now, although I may not have liked them at all in the past.

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This isn't poker at all. It’s like getting a computer upgrade*. Like going from Mac Word 2004 to 2007. You functioned alright before hand, and then you throw away the old program and replace it with the new one. And although you know you’ll eventually come to function better afterwards, you’re still frustrated with Word 2007 because you don’t understand it yet. But given some time, you’ll like it.

At the moment, I really hate Word 2007. There are too many goddamn buttons and everything’s in different places, and I can’t perform simple tasks like left justifying my goddamn document. Nothing makes sense, although things continue the way they did before, just a little more slowly and painstakingly. But like when I upgraded from 2000 to 2004, I’ll figure it out.

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I like my new house. I wanted my walls to be a dark purple, but I really like the light green-blue. It's not pastel, but it feels so light. Fresh. I love the way the sun comes through the windows (two!), and how my cat greets me in the morning with a low purr and a head-butt. My closet remains characteristically messy, but my bookshelf is impeccable. This is my space, and my space alone.

Well, sort of alone, if you count the plethora of stuffed animals that call my room home.

I have some pretty ridiculous stuffed animals. I have a three foot long purple unicorn, complete with sparkly horn and mane.

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I'm growing-up.

And (to regress a little)
it kind of blows.

1 comments:

Do-Maura-rigatou said...

your writing makes me happy